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carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion  

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Everyone has a 2am and a 2pm personality. I’m more interested in the monster you become at 2am rather than the human being you pretend to be at 2pm.
(via stay-ocean-minded)

grossanatomy93:

when someone unzips your pants

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samdesantis:

sometimes you get so close to a person you forget you’re telling them things you’ve never even said out loud before

de-rock-goddess:

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

IVE NEVER DONE SO MUCH DAMAGE WITH ONE FINGER 

toothpast:

turkeystuffer:

tatehorror:

Your tongue doesn’t fit comfortably in your mouth

you’re right, maybe it would fit better in yours

that was as smooth as fuck